Friday, April 11, 2008


Well, the first South Korean born astronaut, a woman, went into space earlier this week, April 8th I think, and the reason I'm posting this today is that it took me that long to stop laughing! Now don't get me wrong, being Korean myself, there is a certain amount of pride that comes with having to be the first of your own countrymen to achieve accomplishments as great as an astronaut exploring space. I even shed a tear, not for her achievement, but because I thought I had lost a twenty dollar bill out of my wallet.

So me and a co-worker went over various hilarious racial stereotypes related to this event as we so often do, and I thought immediately if there is anything that a Korean cannot be separated from is their main culinary staple of KIMCHI. As it turns out, the astronaut actually formulated a low-fat kimchi substitute, and was transported with her! So right as we breathe there is rotten fermenting cabbage orbiting above the Ukraine. If kimchi is not consumed by Koreans every 6 hours, we feel faint, our equilibrium is thrown off, resulting in complete loss of the sense of direction.

So I came up with a conclusion that is undeniably as valid as ramen noodles are cheap. A Korean that goes into space could not possibly make it back. Put general principle aside, there are a myriad of reasons why that space capsule will be seen by millions plummeting to earth in a kimchi red fiery ball. So here are my reasons why I will be contacting NASA to halt all projects relating to missions that include korean astronauts. Now, if your Korean, this will be amusing, if not, you wont know what the hell I'm talking about.
  1. Spilled kimchi juice will eat through the hull.
  2. Traditional rubber, canoe-shaped shoes will get stuck in hatch.
  3. Ship would never leave ground, stow-away of mother and possible marriage candidate will be discovered.
  4. Korean astronaut will never go up, there are no disco's in space.
  5. Will never make it to the launch, too much arguing with family at home.
  6. Could not pass character evaluation, too rude.
  7. Tub of tofu would swish around too much.
  8. Could not wear tacky, crooked golf visor while inside space helmet.
  9. Eight day mission will result in eight missed days of bad golf, can't go.
  10. No church in space, can't go.
  11. Space suit is not made to accomodate a koreans short, stumpy legs.
  12. Weightlessness would make a Koreans face look even more round.
  13. NASA will not allow morning wake up song to be "Forever Young".
  14. Will not go, can't take pastor.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

gene wilder

Dr. Frankenstein: Love is the only thing that can save this poor creature, and I am going to convince him that he is loved even at the cost of my own life. No matter what you hear in there, no matter how cruelly I beg you, no matter how terribly I may scream, do not open this door or you will undo everything I have worked for. Do you understand? Do not open this door.

Inga: Yes, Doctor.

Igor: Nice working with ya.
[Dr. Frankenstein goes into the room with The Monster. The Monster wakes up]

Dr. Frankenstein: Let me out!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!! GET ME THE HELL OUTA HERE!! What's the MATTER with you people?! I was JOKING! Don't you know a joke when you hear one? HA-HA-HA-HA. Jesus Christ, get me out of here!! Open this goddamn door or I'll kick your rotten heads in!! Mommy!!!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The Papal List

Well, the Pope is stopping by Washington D.C. April 15, The Big P, Robe Guy, Hat, God's Rottweiler. Wouldn't it be funny if they gave out thousands of paper pope hats to the crowd? Anyway, there are tons of "things you can do" while visiting our nations capital, here is a short list of things that I personally think he won't have time for.

1. Haggling over 2 lbs. of croaker at the S.E. Waterfront.
2. Throwing out the first pitch at a Nats game.
3. Pissing in a Georgetown alley.
4. Drip juice on his robe from snails in black bean sauce from chinatown's Big Wong's.
5. Shop at D.C.'s first Target store in order to put money back into the city.

6. Exit the National Aquarium muttering,.."what the hell was that?"
7. Repeatedly stand on his toes to catch a glimpse of the Hope Diamond.
8. Participate as a cook in a Civil War reenactment at historic Manassas Battlefield.
9. Show up late for Wine & Wig Wednesday at L'Enfant Cafe in Adams Morgan.
10. Paddleboat amongst dead fish along the beautiful Tidal Basin.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Magic Pen

Test your skills and application of the use of gravity, friction and inertia with Magic Pen. play Magic Pen.

Also be on the look-out for the fantastic looking freeware available soon Crayon Physics Deluxe.

Monday, April 7, 2008

open house

The Washington Nationals baseball organization here in D.C. opened up the brand new Nationals Stadium on saturday to the public as a "open house", open to whoever wanted to come and give anyone the opportunity to check everything out. If this is a way of winning over fans on the baseball "fence", IT WORKED!! They allowed anyone to explore every inch and corner of the park. I was excited, everyone on the metro was excited, great idea all around!

Every facet of the park, concessions, etc was open as if it were a playoff game, the staff was as nice as can be. The Nats/St. Loius Cardinals game was to be broadcast on the huge big screen at 1 pm, and that would be the event of the day. Perfect. Here are my observations of the new park.

1. Only about 20% of the park is confined indoors, the rest outdoors.
2. Navigating the park is very easy, point a to point b is a breeze.
3. BIG SCREEN IS HUGE! You gotta see it to believe it.
4. The food is the most expensive I have ever seen, by far.

5. There are a staggering amount of choices for grub, Red Hot & Blue, Bens Chili Bowl, Hard Times Cafe, gourmet burgers, pizza, pasta, sausage, chicken, about 10 different kind of hot dogs, including Nats Dogs (huge footlongs), desserts, and more desserts.
6. If you want to get any of the premier eats, you have to wait, they havent figured that out yet.

7. The suites are sweet! Only for the ultra rich.
8. Ultra kid friendly, state of the art video batting cages, Playstation flatscreen arcade, all free, no coins needed.
9. More bathrooms than...well everywhere you turn there are huge bathrooms.

10. Did I say the concessions were $$? Smallest beer 16.oz. $6.75.
11. I counted about 10 bars/pubs, half of them outside, all of them with great views, numerous flat screens, all serving food.
12. And last but not least Crabcake sandwiches.

Click here to see pics.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

2008 ny comic con

Appleseed Ex Machina, Manga 2008

the ny comic con is here, held this year at the jacob javits center in midtown manhattan, april 18-20, the biggest and the baddest, so i've heard, never been, i went to the dc comic con in 2005 and the theme was,..will you be going to the ny comic con?, it is the comic books largest stage, it draws biggest names, my friend here in dc will be attending, he had made plans beginning in january. stan lee will be receiving an achievement award (maybe for his dramatic work on who wants to be a superhero?,..uhh.. no). shake hands with virtually anybody who is anybody in the business. anime, manga also getting and more of the ink they deserve at the comic cons, oh and the real reason to show up this year? ...plenty of your favorite j-pop.

Marvel Comics 2008

Thursday, April 3, 2008

rotating snake

your own Bollywood feature

Create a piece of film you can share and cherish forever, add your own words to India's classics at Bombay TV.